By Lyle Mayfield

The Old Trees Die The Hardest is the second book the Greenville Advocate columnist Lyle Mayfield. As a local musician, writer, & folklorist, Lyle offers a unique perspective on life in the small town and the country. The quality of "Thoughts In Passing" has gained it an award-winning reputation that has garnered various awards including: the 1971 best human interest column award for class A newspapers by the Illinois Press Association as well as two honorable mentions from the Southern Illinois Editorial Association. For information on how to purchase a copy of the book please contact:

Rtsrecords@juno.com

The following is one of the columns from the book:

By Lyle Mayfield

Try as we will, I'll never feel comfortable around these talking cash registers they have in some of these supermarkets. The clerk pushes your purchases across this strange, evil-looking light and a voice describes the item and gives its price. Then at the end it takes your money, figures the total and tells its human slave how much change you have coming. Somehow I can't achieve any confidence in someone who can't figure my change...much less takes orders from a voice with no body or form.

Perhaps the feelings stem from our opinion of computers in general. I hate 'em! In this writer's sincere, honest opinion they are the second worst disaster ever visited upon the human race. Television is the first. Atom bombs come in a distant third.

In a nearby town, some few years back, we came across a soda pop machine that had a built in voice to visit with you while it served up your favorite soft drink. We didn't feel comfortable with it either.

At least, though, that episode had its humorous side. The wife, obviously thinking it to be one of those super smart critters that responded to human voices, struck up a conversation with the dumb thing.

She put a couple of quarters in the slot and the following repartee went like this:

"Hello. I'm your talking soft drink dispenser. Please make your selction."

"Hello. Happy to make your acquaintance."

"Please make your selection."

"O.K., O.K., I'll have an orange."

"Please make your selection."

"I said I'd have an orange."
"Please make your selection."

"Ah! Come on! Don't be so stubborn. Give me my orange."

"Please make your selection."

I was standing behind her and reached over to punch the button marked "Orange." As the can of soda rolled into the dispensing slot, the machine began talking again: "Thank you for shopping with me." She came right back, "You're welcome."

As we walked away, she turned to have one final word: "Good night, young man." Thats when I crossed the street. I didn't want anyone to know she was with me.